In my experience, I have heard this being said more often that I care to admit:
This begs the question - what exactly are we looking for when we say this? And are you talking about actual heart palpitations or something (hopefully) a little more metaphorical? How can it be that after you find someone who is so close to perfect, against all odds I might add, you then proceed to give it up in the blink of an eye? Is this an example of being extremely fickle or just not knowing what you're after?
I do not believe that people who make these kinds of statements have a malicious intent or are that clueless. However, it seems that at a minimum you owe it to yourself and to the other person to know what you are looking for. A particular friend of mine seems to go through this loop ad nauseam and I have stopped lightly pointing this out to him and have just been telling him up front that he clearly does not know what to expect out of a relationship. I am a firm believer that you need to treat your date/boyfriend/partner/significant other with the same courtesy and respect and love that you expect to get back in return. To give anything less is unjust and undeserved. Furthermore, the loss of that 'fluttering' feeling is all too normal - one cannot expect to continue to experience that first high ad infinitum. What is more important is what emerges from those initial impressions and feelings - hopefully something that is durable and uplifting and inspirational, based on a deep personal understanding that is rooted in your personalities and interactions thereof, your values and desires in life. Now if only I could make it that far just this one time...
' I met a great guy who's super nice, very attractive, is very well put together and treats me like no one else but he just didn't make my heart flutter so I broke up with him'
This begs the question - what exactly are we looking for when we say this? And are you talking about actual heart palpitations or something (hopefully) a little more metaphorical? How can it be that after you find someone who is so close to perfect, against all odds I might add, you then proceed to give it up in the blink of an eye? Is this an example of being extremely fickle or just not knowing what you're after?
I do not believe that people who make these kinds of statements have a malicious intent or are that clueless. However, it seems that at a minimum you owe it to yourself and to the other person to know what you are looking for. A particular friend of mine seems to go through this loop ad nauseam and I have stopped lightly pointing this out to him and have just been telling him up front that he clearly does not know what to expect out of a relationship. I am a firm believer that you need to treat your date/boyfriend/partner/significant other with the same courtesy and respect and love that you expect to get back in return. To give anything less is unjust and undeserved. Furthermore, the loss of that 'fluttering' feeling is all too normal - one cannot expect to continue to experience that first high ad infinitum. What is more important is what emerges from those initial impressions and feelings - hopefully something that is durable and uplifting and inspirational, based on a deep personal understanding that is rooted in your personalities and interactions thereof, your values and desires in life. Now if only I could make it that far just this one time...
This one I could go either way on. There is someone in my life who for ten years has made my heart flutter even when I'm at my maddest at him. That has to account for something. However, I will admit that if one day it stopped, I wouldn't just pack up and leave.
ReplyDeleteWhat I think people miss is really a difference between romance and love. There's a difference. Romance makes your heart FLUTTER; love MAKES your heart. So when you walk away from someone just because of a loss of romance, love wasn't really there.
If I know nothing else about love, I know it is all but unsure. When you have it, you know it, and you hold the hell onto it.